The Girl Who builds Walls Around Herself

You’re the type of girl who people look up to because you seem to have it figured out all the tiniest of details. You know what you want and you’re driven to get it. What comes to mind when people first meet you? A girl who’s strong and independent, one who doesn’t have any problem whatsoever doing things on her own and being on her own. You’re the busiest one, the girl no one would see shed a tear because she has her hands full with tiny hints of smiles for everyone . You’re always attending to something, always moving on to something, always on the go. You can never be held back, not for a moment, that’s your life.

See, initial interactions, meet-ups , and scheduled conversations are means of survival for you. But it is when the small talks are over, when it’s time for the getting to know part, when someone takes an interest in you—be it a potential friend or something else—that you back off and your walls automatically draw up. Without warning, they rise up, up, up until no one can reach them. They’re too strong to break through. No one can go around it, under it, over it, or through it. No one has figured out how yet. People knock on your walls, practically asking you to let them in, to maybe make way for them, but you refuse. You won’t let anyone come close to your freedom. A freedom where you reign. You’re like the charismatic but guarded girl in popular movies.

See, you weren’t always this way. Once upon a time, you were carefree. You loved, you cared, you thought, you trusted, you believed, you invested, probably more than the average person would. You had so much of it to give and you didn’t mind. But then what you freely gave, someone took for granted. Someone deemed unworthy of their precious time.What you held on to be true for so long had been a lie all along. You gave all only to lose all, to be made to look like a fool while hurting. Deep down, you believed you deserved a sliver of something good. Instead, all you were left with was nothing. Your faith was shattered.

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You vowed never to love, to care, to think, to trust, to believe, or to invest. In its place were blank spaces, you vowed to never feel again. And then your walls built itself around you; slowly but surely, it grew. Over time, you have successfully rebuilt your life to be your safety ,to be entirely yours. It is, after all, what you’ll always have and it won’t hurt you. You have absolutely no room left for other people. You left the emotion part out of the equation. Who needs it anyway.

But you have to see that we humans aren’t wired that way. To be human means having all these feelings and emotions. Being alive is beautiful because of human connections that go beyond surface level . Living means taking risks, having faith and it means the capacity to feel pain. Living is putting everything up in the air and to lose it all in the end. You have to understand how important it still is to let people into your life. You have to understand a life is not a life lived without meaningful purpose. Life is too beautiful to be lived on your lone self. It’s true, there are people out there who will still hurt you but there will also be people that will love you fully and without judgment. But first, you have to give them a chance to break your walls brick by brick. It will take time but when you finally do, it will be worth it.

This was a HUGE Comeback. Thanks for visiting my blog. Keep supporting, keep reading. Takecare!
Until next blog, have a good time!!!
Feel free to share & comment & if any queries send me an email : (surakshyatamrakar7.wordpress.com)

 

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Something YOU taught Me!

Hello there!

You never knew, but you lifted me from the dark place I used to find comfort in. You never knew but slowly, you pulled me out of the shadows and brought me into the light. You taught me how to open my eyes to the sun without letting it blind me. Your hand pulled mine into my hopes and dreams.

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You couldn’t have been Superman. He wore a cape; you wore scarves. You couldn’t have been an angel. They were clothed in white light; you were clothed in black. I found comfort and peace in your company. I found happiness and learned how to smile again through the songs we shared. Maybe that’s why the music I can’t forget anytime.

When I met you, I hated your attitude . I learned to love your instincts . I didn’t expect you to open up to me the way you did. I realized you would have wanted me to be a better version of myself. You were the puppeteer. You pulled them up, to help me stand. You tugged them forward, to teach me how to live again. The laughter we share had memories.

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What we had was different, special. So I’d like to thank you for the good times—for the promise of looking for trouble together. For the shoulder you lent me to lean on, the arm you held out for me to hold. I’d also want to thank you for the her —when you eventually left and scooped her up in your arms when I was at the weakest point of my life. I guess, I always knew it still wasn’t enough. There was never an “us” anyway (even though I wish for it every night).

You taught me how to laugh when I was supposed to break down in a corner and burst in tears. You taught me how to stand tall and try to forget the existence of someone who hated me. You taught me forgiveness. You taught me that what we had was stronger than what I had hoped. You taught me that even though I didn’t want you to, you still care. You taught me that pizza can brighten up even the dullest day. You taught me to smile. You taught me to choose between the alternatives. YES YOU!!

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You taught me that I can always go back to where I was—the comfort of the dark. I hesitated as I took my last step to it because of you. But I reminded myself that you ruined me ANYWAY. I let them bury me deeper into the ground than when you found me. This time, even you can’t save me because you also taught me that the one who picked up the pieces but broke me can’t be the one to fix me again.💔

Thanks for visiting my blog lovely people. Keep supporting, keep reading. Stay strong.
Until next blog, have a good time!!!
Feel free to share & comment. (surakshyatamrakar7.wordpress.com)
You can share me your stories either  be happy or sad . I’ll be writing on behalf of you. And yeah don’t forget to share ! Goodday 🙂

Single Or in Love ??

We live in a society where people just only talk behind. Being in a relationship or being single, every one has problem with it . Most people of my age are in a relationship. Sometimes it feels as if everything I’m doing is part of success for future that will soon end up with me finding a guy to live forever with. Being single is fine while you are busy with your job. At least I don’t have a empty mind for a devil’s workshop. Hush… What a satisfying life. Not generally but mentally.   

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You see, your self in the mirror thinking  not being good enough? You compare your self with your friends who are in a relationship? NO don’t. Instead, think of how happy you are with what you have, what you got and what you will get later. It’s like the edges of a book, the shutter of a camera, the stars, the stars, the stars, and the infinite skies. You keep on searching for what you have and what more you can have.

Sometimes I get the feeling that whenever people find out someone being single, they judge them. They say what are you still single. But honestly, this is personal choice. You don’t deserve to complain in someone else’s life. You know it’d affect a big time. After all, you have to decide your future by yourself.

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It will come. He/she will come. For now you must have a feeling ;I’ll try to make myself the best version of me—not so guys would be attracted to me, but rather, I’ll do it for myself.

Because being single allows someone to chase after their dreams at their own pace, without having someone constantly wanting you to stay. And the thing here is, everyone is a dreamer. We plan to go to places and meet people— maybe in the process we’ll meet him— but for now, let us enjoy ourselves first.

See, to be single is to love yourself, to not rely on somebody else’s temporary feelings toward you. So to all the people who are single , here’s what we’re going to do:

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We’re going to watch movies, listen to good music, read, eat food (remember pizza is bae) , see places, meet people, be happy, and love ourselves, because to learn how to love oneself is the kind of love that brings real happiness, the kind that shows on your face. So when somebody’s brave enough to be with you, to stay with you in all you wanderlust, to appreciate you in all your flaws, to disturb you in your happiness and make you blush.

Love is exciting, but it’s not something one should desperately search for. It will come, he/she will come. For now, love yourself until your heart is ready to love somebody, until someone learns how to love you whole, because that’s the kind of love worth the wait, the kind of love we all deserve . Let love surround yourself first.

So this post was asked to be written by someone. So hopefully I’ve written this much after a long time.
Thanks for visiting my blog lovely people. Keep supporting, keep reading. Stay positive and strong.
And sorry for the delay with the blog posts. Just felt fresh and active after  a very long illness.
Until next blog, have a good time!!!
Sorry for the inconvenience!
Feel free to share & comment & if any queries send me an email : (surakshyatamrakar7.wordpress.com) 
You can share me your stories either  be happy or sad . I’ll be writing on behalf of you. And yeah don’t forget to share !

The girl you left behind

I didn’t know that you’d affect her life big time. You were hers and she was yours. Just the two of you plus some close friends. You surely were happy. You were a secret that she wanted to tell the whole world. She wanted to shout it out loud for everyone to know. She wanted them to know how much she loved you and how happy she was that you loved her too. But maybe, your love isn’t made to be known because that love is forbidden.

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She tried her best not to guard her heart from pouring feelings for you but she couldn’t . How could she ?All the times she needed you, you were there. Believe, she had tried much to be with you. You’ve been together for almost a year. For a year, you’ve made her the happiest person. You were perfect for her and she was too for you as you would say back then. Y’all never really had problems with each other. Y’all never even had a fight. Only few problems that could be counted  one hand. She used to be comfortable whenever she was with you. You were her happiness. All bad vibes she felt seemed to fade away once you were present. You’re always there for her reminding her not to worry about things. Everything was perfect for her. That’s what she thought.
But, if everything was perfect you’d still be here by her side. Why did you leave her ? She kept asking questions to everyone even if she knew the answer. She just couldn’t accept the fact that you did. How could you?

From the start she knew that love wasn’t allowed. From the start, she knew that her heart should be guarded and she should be strong over anything that comes over. But the moment she thought about you it kept her going down.

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The moment you held her hand, you also had held her heart. And those precious smile of yours, those smiles she wished to see every day. So,she stepped forward and took risk. You told her that y’all could get through that.  You told her you didn’t want to lose her. She believed in you. But where are you now? Yes, she shared the blame but she had promised me. You, you made her believe that you both would last forever. You made her believe that you would never let her go. But you just did. She had trusted you. But now she is strong enough to let you go.

What happened to her ? Wasn’t she worth holding onto? Was she really easy to leave? She kept asking questions to herself. Her heart ached so much she couldn’t help but weep every time. She couldn’t accept the fact that the person who completed her everyday was now gone.

She wept in my arms explaining her grief and sorrow. I was willing to fight for her , to make you realize that  the girl you left behind is now a strong independent girl. Now she will treat you like a stranger and it will hurt you watching her being happy, free and independent. Yes, it will hurt you. Please tell your bestfriends if it did!

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Because it feels free to throw a broken heart behind. Do you even think about her broken heart?  No, you don’t even care about heart that’s broken. Listen now she nomore loves you. She is thankful for breaking her apart and  letting her be stronger than before.
She seriously gave up all the love she had for you. Those days were the darkest days of her life. Thanks to God she got someone to lean on and tell her story. She still can wake up and live her life happily. The fact it is without you.

Pain is difficult and pain demands to be felt. But hey, life goes on and you shouldn’t stress over someone who doesn’t even think about you. Maybe you had the wrong love at the wrong time. There are things right now that you must put aside first and unfortunately that’s love.It’s time to focus in you career and family.
Right now,  keep distance from being heartbroken. Let karma serve what you deserve, but make sure you choose the best among the alternatives.

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Thanks for visiting my blog lovely people. Keep supporting, keep reading. Stay strong.
Until next blog, have a good time!!!
Feel free to share & comment & if any queries send me an email : (surakshyatamrakar7.wordpress.com)
You can share me your stories either  be happy or sad . I’ll be writing on behalf of you. And yeah don’t forget to share ! Goodday 🙂

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Heartbreaks with bestfriends

Breaking up with friend is real hard. Me & mybest friend were really like sisters. We had a lot of dreams together for the future. We get each other just by one look, we both were automatically partners during school activities. We would watch all the movies at the cinema when we have free time. Our thoughts about other people were always same. She was there when I got your heart broken.

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For the very first time, but I didn’t see it coming that she would be the reason for the second time, which hurt me more. That was when she found new friends and forgot about me . She was already living in a world where I was invited in.

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It hurt when she stopped reserving seats for me when I came in late for my classes and started eating out for lunch with her new besties. I felt like I needed to start all over again like the first day in school before I met her. It was a tough time to pass nearby her in the hallway without greeting & teasing each other, was mad at her for choosing any other people over you , for suddenly leaving me behind. I couldn’t understand it at first and I kept on asking myself if our friendship even mattered to her. I know boyfriends may come and go but not best friends. I was never prepared for that kind of friendship breakup.

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Now realizing that maybe it’s time we drift ways and grow apart and maybe it’s the kind of friendship that’s not meant to last. It just made me sad that the person I depend on the most did not feel the same way about me anymore. We’ve ignored each other from then on. We were like strangers again. It just happened and that’s the worst I’ve ever felt. It’s the worst because I felt like I needed to look for another partner-in-crime and soulmate again. It was like losing my better half. But despite everything that has happened, I really am happy to see my old best friend have the time of her life. I still want to play the part of being a true friend to her by supporting her with what makes her heart happy. And if she ever gets her heart broken, too, I would also want to be there for her even if it’s not the same anymore.

This blog concludes, it’s not only heartbreaks but a lesson is learnt. Once a person is heartbroken he/she will feel insecure, lonely and unwanted.  So please make sure your friends don’t feel  the same. Stay happy, cherish every moment you spend with them. 🙂

Thanks for visiting my blog lovely people. Keep supporting, keep reading. 
Until next blog, have a good time!!!
Have a happy time lovely people!!
Feel free to share & comment & if any queries send me an email : (surakshyatamrakar7.wordpress.com)

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You definitely miss someone!

You probably ask yourself, “Why did the universe choose to torture me?”

Torture you with his perfect smile when he talks to you, his eyes that sparkle when he laughs, with his gentle touch when he wants your attention. His presence, his perfection.

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And you miss him all the time.
Why do I have to see you all the time? Why do you have to be so amazing?
It’s torture. Because you don’t want to feel this way. You want to stop the feelings but you can’t.

There are a lot of reasons to be in this situation. There’s the fear of rejection. Come on .Either way, you don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy with him. Talk to him, that will be fine.

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Maybe you’re not ready to be in a relationship so you prefer to just ignore all the signs. Okay, he’s cute, but now you have to focus on job or your family. You don’t have time for love or boys.

You could be afraid of it—having a boyfriend, being a girlfriend, having to be there for him and make time for him. You shouldn’t crush on anyone else, hah! not for now . You can’t like him cause you just want to be independent and you’re completely comfortable with being single, right? And then you decide that let me have just a crush. Nothing more alike.

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But what if you’re wrong? Denying your feelings is a tough challenge. Every day you have to resist what your heart wants. You’ll have to look him in the social media and force yourself to stop thinking about how cute he is.

It’s always a tough decision to make because there’s always the threat of you getting hurt, but time heals the heart maybe this is not the correct time for it. If it’s because you’re too busy, you never know, he could be a great support system for you. Maybe he’ll understand you and you’ll have someone new to look to who’ll be there for you in your happiness & sadness.

If you’re afraid that it’ll be just like the past then maybe you should give it more time, but don’t completely shut your heart out. Talk to the guy, have silly talks funny time together.
There are so many more reasons ; seeing someone heartbroken & at the same time you see a couple & get more confused.

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The Maybe, just maybe, it’s time for you to face the facts—you’re in love with him. Maybe it’s time to do something about it! But think twice. Maybe everything will be allright in the future.
Think twice…..

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I hope Y’all had a good time reading this. Since I’m having a hard time now, I’ll be taking a short gap with my blog. If I’m free I’ll be posting some more. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Thanks for visiting my blog lovely people. Keep supporting, keep reading. 
Until next blog, have a good time!!!

5 signs to hide your feelings from your crush

There’s some kind of happiness in liking/loving someone from a distance. And you do it for a lot of reasons, too!
One, you’re scared to get rejected. Two, you’re supposed to get busy with your studies first because it should be books before boys. Or, you are scared of your feelings not only flowing but overflowing . Or maybe getting scared of being ignored by your crush. The struggle is bad.

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1.Dont talk about your feelings :
If you can’t stop yourself from talking about him, either you choose one friend to share about your crush. But be careful about your friend popping out your crush’s name . For safety, force them to take promises.

2. Don’t ask about him :
Fishing for any information about him from other people will only make them . If you want to get to know him better, just go to his Facebook profile. Maybe that’ll help.

3.Don’t stare at him :
We know this is super difficult—what with that cute smile and those rosy cheeks of his. But you have to. Try to focus your attention on other things nearby you . Or, you know, just steal a photo from his Facebook account and put it in your phone he won’t know it. Just make sure your friends don’t have a habit of scanning your phone’s gallery or else you’re busted!😂😂

4.Don’t react when you see him with another girl :
Breathe deeply. We know it’s very, very very difficult to not feel jealous, even do I. But remember that, you don’t have a right to be mad, and, when they’re just talking. Just don’t be mad.

5.Don’t overreact when he talks to you:
Don’t be much excited, usually, the more you hide your feelings, the more you can be more secure . So why don’t you just give him the littlest signs that you’re interested? Don’t know how to start ?

Okay so keep in mind… Hope this helps you out not to be caught by your crush. I just know that everyone has crush, either a celebrity or a normal person. You can also be someone’s crush, all you need to do is stay aware..

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And yes, Next post I shall share about how you can give it a start. Just let me know if you really want to know about how to start or else I’ll be skipping that part.
Thanks for visiting my blog lovely people. Keep supporting, keep reading.
Until next blog, have a good time.

Bestfriends importance in life.

Besties, or true friends, are hard to come by. By the time you get to your eighteen , you’re probably more aware of which friend is for keeps, and which ones you should definitely stay away from. Oh, I’ve had my fair share of highschool drama, and while at that time I probably thought it was the end of the world, now I’m merely laughing about how much thought I even gave it. Honestly, I’ve even forgotten the names of most of the mean people back then! Life does not begin and end with highschool and catty fights, it goes on far far beyond that. And because life is not always pretty, we need a shoulder to cry on, a smile to laugh with and a friend to always be by our side no matter what. I’m lucky enough to find all of this in my besties.

We don’t have to stay on the phone with each other 24/7. In fact I don’t even see them every day. But every time we catch up, it’s as if we did. They are the first person I call when I need to spend some quality time , when I do something stupid (or want to do something stupid :P), or when I simply just want to share a funny story or pictures. And no matter where they are or what they are going through, every time I need them, they’re always there. I love sharing every single moments from the day. Whenever we gather up we have funny talks and about the hustle & bustle life.image

Funnily, we’re going through a silly “quarter life crisis” that we assume is induced by different factors (yes, i blame time of the month!) If you’re in your not the same age too, and questioning life and your purpose in it- or if “this is really it?,” then join your friends circle . Your work is not keeping you motivated, life is becoming a peaceful yet boring routine, you question what exactly you want and if you’ll ever do anything great with your life. Quite a lot of questioning if you ask me! lol Yes, there are a lot of things to be thankful for everyday, and that’s precisely part of the confusion. Are we overreacting? Simply being silly? Affected by the fake “dream lives” on instagram? Should we wait for it to pass or take a course of action? Is there really a problem? The truth is- I really don’t know the answer.image

What I do know is that one thing is for sure. No matter what life brings or where it takes us, I’ll always be here to support, cry, laugh, shout, jump, crawl, shop, shoot, and everything else in between, with my besties. Through trivial problems or tough ones, I’ll be there with a ice cream, some hot chocolate and a whole set of good foods to share.

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Do you have friends that need a bestfriend too? Why not show them how much you care- just because you do! (I’m a normal person , I don’t know it!) We don’t have to wait for an occasion to tell someone just how special they are. So today, let’s do exactly that. I send all my friends a smiley atleast to make sure they atleast may smile.

Post your own happy thoughts on Social Media and make your friend’s every day moments better! Take a selfie with Happy Thought with your bestfriend.

Keep your happy thoughts long and cheerful.

Go and spread the good vibes all around!